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Today, secure in the love of the Fellowship, we can finally look another human being in the eye and be grateful for who we are. C h a p the r Ni n e Just for Today- Living the Program Tell yourself: Just for today my thoughts will be on my recovery, living and enjoying life without the use of drugs. Just for today I will be unafraid, my thoughts will be on my new associations, people who are not using and who have found a new way of life. We admit that our lives have been unmanageable, but sometimes we have a problem admitting our need for help. We should know from our past experience that our way of doing things did not work. The principle of surrender guides us into a way of life in which we draw our strength from a Power greater than ourselves. When we refuse to practice acceptance, we are, in 93 94 Narcotics Anonymous effect, still denying our faith in a Higher Power. Surrendering our will puts us in contact with a Higher Power who fills the empty place inside that nothing could ever fill. We learned to take whatever actions are necessary and to leave the results in the hands of our Higher Power. We strongly suggest that members make an attempt to find a Higher Power of their understanding. Some of us have profound spiritual experiences, dramatic and inspirational in nature. As we develop faith in our daily lives, we find that our Higher Power supplies us with the strength and guidance that we need. Many of us were suspicious and skeptical because of disappointments that we have had with religion. Until we sought our own answers in this area, we were trapped in the ideas gathered from our past. Everything we know is subject to revision, especially what we know about the truth. We re-evaluate our old ideas, so we can become acquainted with the new ideas that lead to a new way of life. When we accept that our addiction caused our own hell and that there is a power available to help us, we begin to make progress in solving our problems. Just for Today-Living the Program 95 Lack of daily maintenance can show up in many ways. Through open-minded effort, we come to rely on a daily relationship with God as we understand Him. Each day most of us ask our Higher Power to help us stay clean, and each night we give thanks for the gift of recovery. As our lives become more comfortable, many of us lapse into spiritual complacency, and risking relapse, we find ourselves in the same horror and loss of purpose from which we have been given only a daily reprieve. This is, hopefully, when our pain motivates us to renew our daily spiritual maintenance. One way that we can continue a conscious contact, especially in hard times, is to list the things for which we are grateful. Many of us have found that setting aside quiet time for ourselves is helpful in making conscious contact with our Higher Power. This quieting of the mind can be done in any place, time, or manner, according to the individual. Gradually, as we become more God-centered than self-centered, our despair turns to hope. If we maintain our spiritual condition daily, we find it easier to deal with the pain and confusion. If, after a period of time, we find ourselves in trouble with our recovery, we have probably stopped doing one or more of the things that helped us in the earlier stages of our recovery. It allows us to listen to opposing points of view, and come to conclusions of our own. Open-mindedness leads us to the very insights that have eluded us during our lives. It is this principle that allows us to participate in a discussion without jumping to conclusions or predetermining right and wrong.

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With that as our foundation, we as individual recovering addicts are each able to find our own distinct voice and to sing a song that is uniquely ours. Over the years our fellowship has changed and our literature has expanded and been revised, but the message remains the same: An addict, any addict, can stop using drugs, lose the desire to use, and find a new way to live. Preface to the First Edition "The full fruit of a labor of love lives in the harvest, and that always comes in its right season. This Basic Text is based on an outline derived from our "white book," Narcotics Anonymous. The first eight chapters are based on the topic headings in the white book and carry the same title. A ninth chapter has been included, Just for Today, as well as a tenth chapter, More Will Be Revealed. Narcotics Anonymous was formed in July 1953, with the first meeting held in Southern California. The Fellowship grew erratically but quickly spread to various parts of the United States. From the beginning, the need was evident for a book on recovery to help strengthen the Fellowship. The Fellowship still had little structure, however, and the 1960s were a period of struggle. Today, there are recovering addicts in thousands of meetings all across the United States and in many foreign countries. This material has been laboriously catalogued, edited, assembled, dismembered and reassembled. Dozens of area and regional representatives working with the Literature Committee have dedicated thousands of man-hours to produce the work presented here. But more importantly, those members have conscientiously sought to ensure a "group conscience" text. We feel that this book is a synthesis of the collective group conscience of the Fellowship and that every single idea submitted is included in the work in some form or another. Preface to the First Edition xxiii this volume is intended as a textbook for every addict seeking recovery. As addicts, we know the pain of addiction, but we also know the joy of recovery we have found in the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous. We believe the time has come to share our recovery, in written form, with all who desire what we have found. Appropriately, this book is devoted to informing every addict: just for today, you never have to use again! That through the development of a conscious contact with God, no addict seeking recovery need die without a chance to find a better way of life. We remain trusted servants in gratitude and loving service, Literature Subcommittee World Service Conference Narcotics Anonymous We cannot change the nature of the addict or addiction. We can help to change the old lie "Once an addict, always an addict," by striving to make recovery more available. Introduction this book is the shared experience of the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous. We welcome you to read this text, hoping that you will choose to share with us the new life that we have found. We believe that as a fellowship, we have been guided by a Greater Consciousness, and are grateful for the direction that has enabled us to build upon a proven program of recovery. We come to Narcotics Anonymous by various means and believe that our common denominator is that we failed to come to terms with our addiction. Because of the variety of addicts found within our Fellowship, we approach the solution contained within this book in general terms. We pray that we have been searching and thorough, so that every addict who reads this volume will find the hope that we have found. We were in the grip of a hopeless dilemma, the solution of which is spiritual in nature. Our program is a set of spiritual principles through which we are recovering from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.

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Ironically, what he was going on about was how frustrated he feels when he has to listen to women going on and on about topics he finds boring and unimportant. The seemingly contradictory evidence is reconciled by the difference between what I call public and private speaking. More men feel comfortable doing "public speaking," while more women feel comfortable doing "private" speaking. Another way of capturing these differences is by using the terms report-talk and rapport-talk. For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships. From childhood, girls criticize peers who try to stand out or appear better than others. People feel their closest connections at home, or in settings where they feel at home-with one or a few people they feel close to and comfortable with-in other words, during private speaking. For most men, talk is primarily a means to preserve independence and negotiate and maintain status in a hierarchical social order. This is done by exhibiting knowledge and skill, and by holding center stage through verbal performance such as storytelling, joking, or imparting information. So they are more comfortable speaking in larger groups made up of people they know less well-in the broadest sense, "public speaking. Dale Spender suggests that most people feel instinctively (if not consciously) that women, like children, should be seen and not heard, so any amount of talk from them seems like too much. Studies have shown that if women and men talk equally in a group, people think the women talked more. Home is the setting for an American icon that features the silent man and the talkative woman. Yet women who work come home tired too, and they are nonetheless eager to tell their partners or friends everything that happened to them during the day and what these fleeting, daily dramas made them think and feel. Again and again, women complain, "He seems to have everything to say to everyone else, and nothing to say to me. The doorbell interrupts their quarrel, and husband and wife compose themselves before opening the door to greet their guests with cheerful smiles. But underneath, or overlaid on these types of blame cast outward, most people believe that something is wrong with them. Even with the best intentions, trying to settle the problem through talk can only make things worse if it is ways of talking that are causing trouble in the first place. In our culture, most people, but especially women, look to their closest relationships as havens in a hostile world. When asked who their best friends are, most women name other women they talk to regularly. A woman told me, with lingering incredulity, of a conversation with her boyfriend. A college woman missed her brother but rarely called him because she found it difficult to get talk going. But when she thought back, she remembered that later in the conversation he had mumbled, "Christie and I got into another fight. Many men honestly do not know what women want, and women honestly do not know why men find what they want so hard to comprehend and deliver. In a Dagwood strip, Blondie complains, "Every morning al he sees is the newspaper! The cartoon strip shows that Blondie is justified in feeling like the woman who wrote to Ann Landers: invisible. Another cartoon shows a husband opening a newspaper and asking his wife, "Is there anything you would like to say to me before I begin reading the newspaper? The cartoon highlights the difference in what women and men think talk is for: To him, talk is for information. So when his wife interrupts his reading, it must be to inform him of something that he needs to know. This being the case, she might as well tell him what she thinks he needs to know before he starts reading. Telling things is a way to show involvement, and listening is a way to show interest and caring.

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